Wow, if it's not one thing it's another. Now the Main Streamed Media are talking about me banning books in Wasilla blah blah blah. Doesn't the press have anything better to do than chase down old stories about me? Hey Nedra Pickler (cool name by the way!), how would you feel if I poked around in your past and then wrote stories about it and then published them in newspapers?!? The media and everyone are taking this whole "public servant" thing so seriously, honestly it kind of makes them look silly. Who cares what I "did" or "didn't do" as "mayor" or "governor." I'm not being elected the vice president of WHAT ALREADY HAPPENED, I'm being elected the vice president of the FUTURE. And the only way you can tell the future is by looking at (a) the love in my heart for Alaska/the USA/God and (b) whether my family is getting raised right.
So about that whole banning books and firing librerians thing (also: for some reason reporters never just CALL me to ask me about what happened! The campaign hired a nice girl named Becky to answer my phone, and I keep asking Becky if any reporters have called and but she says nope, none at all. I wish they would because I'd totally love to talk to them the banned book stuff, my foreign policy ideas, etc!!) But I guess since they don't care enough to call I will just talk about the issue right here.
LIBEREL QUESTION: Did you want to ban books from Wasilla.
MY ANSWER: Of COURSE I did. Would you want to ban a Nazi from your baby's crib? Would you want to ban a Muslim terrorist from your child's kindergarten? Because it's basically the same thing with these books.
LIBEREL QUESTION: Did you actually ban any books from Wasilla.
MY ANSWER: No because I knew the librarian wouldn't let me. So some of them I had Track sneak out in his hockey bag and other ones I just hid behind the Ranger Rick display stand.
LIBEREL QUESTION: So What books did you want to ban.
MY ANSWER: Well Mr. Reporter I am so glad you asked me that because now I can warn other parents about these dangrous books.
The Golden Compass by Philip Pulman
Some people say that I banned this book because it is against religion and God. To tell you the truth I listened to the whole book on cassette like four times and I didn't hear ANY of that anti-religion stuff! come to think of it, I also am not so sure that those Narnium books are about religion either--except for maybe on Noah's ark I don't remember any talking lions in the Bible. But anyway, the truth is that I banned the Golden Compass because if its completely inaccurate portrayal of Polar Bears. Polar Bears are a dangerous threat and this book made them seem honorable, etc. If I let this book be read by alaska children it could undo all the hard work I did in trying to get rid of the Polar bear menace in Alaska.
Harry Potter by Jay K. Rowling
ARGH so here is the thing: a couple years ago Piper and Willow both wanted to be Hermoany for Halloween. every day they were all whine whine blah blah blah I get to be Hermoany no I do no I do and I was all GUYS BE QUIET I AM TRYING TO BE MAYOR. Finally Willow snuck into the Tidbits Jar in the fridge, which she KNOWS is off limits, and stole a moose kidney and put it right in Piper's cereal!! That was the last straw--todd and I were saving those for our anniversary jerky. So I took the books away from them as punishment but i figure probly lots of other Wasilla parents are dealing with the same kinds of problems, plus other parents in America, so if I was Vice President I would ban the whole book.
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
One thing that's important to know about me is that I make my decisions based on Evidence. In fact I am a lot like someone on the show History Detectives, except in the present. This time my evidence came from the neighbor of the woman who cut my hair. Annie (the woman who cuts my hair, she is FANTASTIC, if you have fine hair that also has a ton of body you should totally go to her, email me for her number) told me that her neighbor's daughter Christine read this book her very first semester at the U of Alaska. When Christine came back for Thanksgiving she was acting really weird and finally her mother confronted her and it turned out that christine had become a Vegatarian. honestly I can't even imagine, I know that my Bristol would never do anything like that. Even though Annie says her neighbor is a very nice woman I have to think that she also must have raised that child a little wrong if you know what I mean, but still I bet that this Leaves of Grass book had a lot to do with it. Leaves of grass are for cows/moose/etc NOT for people!!