Mailin' Palin

Hey you guys.  First of all thank you so much for all the letters and emails.  They have meant so much to me over these last few days, I really appreciate them.

I've also been getting a lot of questions too and while I'm sorry that I can't write back to all of them I thought it might be fun to answer some here. So here's the first one!

Dear Sarah,

We so admire your stance on bearing arms -- here in the UK they don't allow the English to carry guns, hence there are so many knife killings.

Please help us! how should we tackle this problem, how can we win the right to bare arms in this country as you have managed in yours?

Yours sincerely,

Ken B.

Thank you for your excellent question Ken!  First, you are right, people in Britain don't have the rights that we do here in America.  One solution is obvious, you could become an immigrant! The Republican party is very supportive of immigrants.  But you'll have to follow the rules, especially since I'm the one telling you to.  I think you'll probably have to give up the Queen, too.  But if you are interested in having the opportunity to defend your family, America is definitely the place to be.  If you email me your family's names I'll see if I can put in a good word.

I understand you might not be able to come over right away though, and in the mean time you probably want a quicker solution.  Well you're in luck!

This is called a Wasp Knife, and I think it might be just the thing for you and your family.  Basically it's a normal knife, except it can inject a ball of freezing gas after you stab something with it.  I think it was originally designed for sharks, but it really does the trick on bears, angry moose, you name it.

The Palin family swears by them.  In fact we just picked one up for Willow during the back to school sales (we're leaving the gas cartridges out for now until she gets used to it).  I'm pretty sure you can buy them in England, so maybe you can pick one up on your way home from work.

Of course the best way to be safe is to be sure you have a firearm near by at all times.  But sometimes it's not convenient to carry one, or you're not allowed to carry them, or you realize you left it in the helicopter.  At times like those it's great to know you have your Wasp Knife nearby.  Oh, and here's a little extra tip, if you stick the knife in a beverage and discharge it you can cool the drink down in no time flat. Just be sure not to press the button down all the way or you'll spill all over the place!

Thanks again for your question and best wishes from the whole Palin clan.

 

Comments

[Jonz]

this was a very tender moment: http://media.tumblr.com/JfVs4BRt3ditult39346fBMS_500.jpg

[British and Proud of it]

Thanks for the useful guidance on the knife. Next time I'm charged by a bear or shark I'll go buy one immediately. Of course, the English aren't allowed to carry guns [well, they are, but only rifles, and they get arrested if they carry them in the street]. But there are thousands of illegal pistols and MAC-10s and stuff like that on the streets anyway, so we know when to duck when we hear the bangs.

The Welsh and Scots have a different problem, because they're British as well: and so are the Northern Irish. The Southern Irish are Irish, and not British - that's got something to do with the official title "The United Kingdom Of Great Britain [that's England, Wales & Scotland] and Northern Ireland". You're really going to love Foreign Policy, and learning the names of all those foreign capital cities ... like Richmond, Paris [France], Topeka, Olympia, Tel Aviv and of course London {England/Great Britain/UK].

[Mike]

Jonz - great addition for my McCain-Palin '08 scrapbook. Thx.

[Kamagra Discount]

great info at this page.. thanks!

[estetik]

this article is very interesting and wonderful informations.
http://www.hemenarac.com l http://www.kardeslerrentacar.com l http://www.otokiraliyorum.net l http://www.burun-estetigi.info l http://www.magicsacekimi.com l http://www.yemek-tabldot.com