Guest Blogger: Todd Palin
Well Im back. And none too pleased about it I can tell you. Not only didnt I catch any fish, I didnt even GET TO FISH.
I'll back up, Terry marched up to me on Friday, he'd been storming around the office all day. He says Todd how would you like to go on a trip? Well what kind of trip I asked. Uh, how bout fishing maybe? he says. Well that sounded pretty good to me. You all know I do some fishing for work when Im not on call with BP. That is hard d*** work tho, this sounded like maybe itd be a chance to relax before things got crazy. So I said sign me up!
Terry wanted to hit the road right away so we flew back home then drove out to some hotel in the middle of nowhere. Terry said it was on the way, I didnt know tho, he told me to just sit tight while he went and made some calls and to not open the door unless it was him. He said Just do this one thing for me Todd and I promise we'll go get dinner at H**ters (Im sorry Sarah I swear I never go on my own but the wings are really good and I never get to try them). I said Id be good.
I was pretty bored by the time somebody knocked. Mr. Palin open the door! they says, but I yelled back He aint here! Well we yelled some more until I said God d***it I ain't opening this door an that's final! And then they left a while an I watched some more Meerkat Manor. But I was getting awful hungry, then someone knocked and said they had a pizza to deliver. I asked what kind, it all seemed to check out, so I opened the door.
Well I didnt end up with any god d*** pizza, and when Terry got back he was madder than a wet hen, you can be sure we didn't go get any wings neither. Instead I just ended up with a supeena in my hand and an empty stomach.
See there's this investigation going on about when Sarah had Mike fired. Its pretty stupid, I mean Sarah was head of Alaska when it happened, obviously she can fire people who work FOR ALASKA, she was everybody's boss! In fact when this whole thing came out she and I put our heads together over a fancy dinner and after a few bottles of Yellow Tail we said "F THOSE GUYS/BRING IT ON!" The next morning she issued a statement about it and everything.
Since then tho it turns out that Obama was behind it all, so the right thing to do is not answer any questions. I guess thats fine, they say theres a chance we could get in trouble for it but once Sarah's elected she can just pardon us anyway, Im not too worried. But the bad part about it is one, no fish, and two I have to start talking to reporters.
All right I admit it I got a little tongue tied around a pretty lady. I dont think thats a crime!
Greta is very nice but Im only used to Sarah calling me first dude, its kind of a thing with us. So when she kept asking me about it it sort of threw me for a loop. Also when she had me talk about my snowmobiling she made me sit behind her on it and reach around her to show her how to hold the throttle. That was weird too.
Anyway this was bad enough but I dont think most of them will be as nice as Miss Van Sustrin, I'm kind of dreading it. I wish Id stayed in that hotel room and just settled for the Chinese delivery guy that came by before the pizza.