Bears!

Wow. I have been learning so much in the last four days. The McCain campaign has mostly been teaching me about foreign policy, cause it turns out I am pretty good already on domestic issues like talking to angry school board presidents, figuring out how much of a raise to give to the highway superintendent, and of course I am basically Alaska's expert on dealing with fishing permits :-)

But to help with the foreign stuff, they made me some really great flashcards about friend VS. enemy countries. The pictures of animals are the best part. Almost every country has a traditional animal mascot, a lot like sports teams. You probably already knew that America is an eagle, but did you know that England is a friendly lion (kinda like Aslan), Russia is a bear, and Iran is a scorpion with the head of a goat??

Anyways, finding out that Russia (also known as the Soviet's Union) is a "bear" made me think that hey, wait a sec, maybe i AM kinda ready for this foreign policy thing! I might not have gone on alot of trips away from alaska or talked to to very many foreigners (unless you count liberels!) but i have a heck of a lot of experience dealing with BEARS.  one of the parts of my job that i am most proud of is that I have led the fight in Alaska against polar bears. The Interior Department (aka Big Government) tried to tell us alaskans that polar bears are an "endangered species" because of something called "global warming." Um, hey guys, have you BEEN to Alaska? It's cold as heck! anyway, I sued them and basically said "Until you can prove that this global warming stuff is actually science (aka never), then let us do what we want with our bears."

OK, so here is the best part. To say thank you to the people on the Mccain campaign who have been so great to me and my family over the last week, I have been working on a surprise for them. That surprise will be a policy statement about russia/bears that I will put into my acceptance speech at the convention! They are going to be so proud of me. I don't have very much written yet but here is how it will start:

My Fellow Americans: I know what it is like to be afraid. Many of you might be afraid of things like not having health care, being left on Earth when the rapture comes, or even being killed in a war. Although none of those things are problems for me, I can understand your feeling of fear because of something we face every day in Alaska. That thing is called bears.

Then will come the part about Russia (I haven't decided yet what policy to have about it--any ideas??).

Set your VCR's to record my speech, and don't tell John or anyone else on the campaign what I'm planning, ok? I want it to be a surprise.

PS I've been thinking about adding a line at the end that goes something like "Democrats say I have barely any experience. Well, I say to them that Joe Biden has BEAR-LY any experience!" I put it in because Todd says that as VP I have to be an "attack dog" but I think it might be too mean to the Democrats, after all it isn't their fault that there aren't any bears in DC.

Comments

[People in the Sun]

This is a great idea, governor. LOL! You're going to be a bear-y good Vice President, and a few months later, a President! I can Bear-ly wait! (See what I did there? LOL!!!)

[MC Poetry]

Dear Future VPILF,

Here is a love poem I wrote just for you:

http://n3f4riou5.org/?p=385

Sincerely,
MC Poetry

[Stephen Colbert]

Bears are giant, marauding, godless killing machines! We must be rid of them.

[Dr. Q]

Palin and McCain still use VCRs. Haha.

[Local SEO Guide]

The scary thing is that for a second I actually thought this was the real deal. :)

[William Dalton]

This whole website is extremely lame. Yeah, you can attack Palin on some of her stances, but its extremely low to attack her about her family. While I'm a McCain/Palin supporter, Obama said it best when he was quoted "I think people's families are off-limits, and people's children are especially off-limits. This shouldn't be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin's performance as governor or her potential performance as a vice president."

[JoshA]

I think Stephen Colbert will appreciate your strong stance on bears.

[Ben Popken]

I'm glad to see you're taking protecting polar bears "very seriously."

http://consumerist.com/5044256/palin-takes-protecting-polar-bears-very-seriously

[e_five]

OMG Sarah, I can't weight until you get into Washington DC and downsize the Federal gubmint like you half here in Alaska!! :) Shooting wolve's from helicopter's is right there in the Constitution, second from the top!! :)

P.S. Could the Washington DC press be any worser than Anchorage media? I don't think so, IMHO!!

[not amused]

How ridiculous. You people REALLY need to get a life. It's a shame that some of you folks feel you have to resort to classless crap like this.

Your attemp to smear & ridicule Palin only shows your complete & utter ignorance (as well as panic)

[Tony]

The Democrats really don’t understand you, do they?

You appear to genuinely be all the things they profess—and for some reason the strategy stooges don’t seem to get it. Every time they take a swipe at you it’s a gut busting backfire. Why? Because they’re reveled for what they are: devoid of anything genuine except their ideology, which even they, will gladly throw under the bus simply to get after you. It’s a shame for them you’ve lived a real life.

Sara, thanks for being a real person, one in which we all can identify with.

OBTW, being Governor Hot-Chick doesn’t hurt either.

[Just an American Girl]

Come on everybody..let's have some fun! This Palin choice certainly adds a lot of entertainment value, by gosh, this is a Disney Movie " Soccer mom from Alaska becomes Vice President of The United States!" This is the AMERICAN DREAM! Achieving the improbable against all odds! Cheers to USA, Cheers to McCain for lighting the fire of the American Spirit!

How 'bout this humorous, enthusiastic 'MODERN ODE TO SARAH PALIN"..."While we're scared to step on a roach, she's making hamburgers out of a moose!...Sarah Palin and Tall with a name as American as Betsy Ross and all! Welcome to the NATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS!"...you'll get a kick out of this!

Here's the direct link..just click or copy and paste!:
http://www.filefreak.com/pfiles/71575/sarah%20palin%20i%20like%20that%201.mp3

[Cayce Smith]

"Iran is a scorpion with the head of a goat."

Jajaja....

[bwunderlick]

presidenting: ur doin it rong

[Kate]

The best part here is when people try to defend Palin and attack Dems while thinking this blog is actually her real blog. If it were (which would be hilarious) it most certainly wouldn't be defendable. I love idiots. :)

[ari m.]

YES SHE CAN!

http://www.milf4vp.com

[Mark Dewd]

Sarah doesn't need to be defended by anyone. God will defend her. She is doing God's will and He will stand by her.

Go Sarah! Go Jesus! Go God! Go USA!

(All of you pointy-headed tree-hugging hate-mongering liberal whimps will surely rot in hell. How many of you can even gut and skin a moose in under ten minutes? Well, Sarah can! Ha! Case closed.)

[carolyn mccartney]

MS. PALIN
NO SELL, I HAVE BEEN ON THE INTERNET RESEARCHING YOU. NO WAY!
I AM A PERSON WHO LOOKS AT YOUR RECORD NOT WHAT THE MEDIA SAYS
YOU ARE NOT READY TO BE VP OR PRES IF MCCAIN SHOULD BECOME UNABLE TO CONTINUE. FLASH CARDS GIVE ME A BREAK. WHEN THE U.S.
IS STARING DOWN THE END OF AN ENEMY ATTACK YOU DONT HAVE TIME FOR FLASH CARDS. THERE ARE MANY OTHER MORE QUILIFIED WOMEN THAT MCCAIN COULD OFFER UP THE GET THE HILLARY VOTERS. YOU ARE A VERY POOR SUBSTITUE.

[Frankly Mi Deer]

Governur Palin,

You are so cool. I wish you could have my baby. Or at least practice.

If yur to busy, maybe Bristol could do it with me. Will you ask her?

Thank you,
Your Friend

[Nate]

Watch this bear and laugh your ass off. http://www.youtube.com/user/AbusiveTeddyBear

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[cene cerrahi]

Hey! Is not that these creatures can not be real _?

[rent a car istanbul]

Governur Palin,

You are so cool. I wish you could have my baby. Or at least practice.

If yur to busy, maybe Bristol could do it with me. Will you ask her?

Thank you,
Your Friend