Help with speech

I don't mean to burst the Washington Post's bubble, but I am totally writing my own speech for tonight.  I kinda got a slow start today on the whole speech thing due to the vitamins that I had last night (what a headache!) but I think I am making some real progress on it.  As I have been writing it today though, I realize that one of the problems that we are goin' to have is connecting with the 'urban' voter.  It is tough enough that the Republican party is VERY white but with us running against an Afro-American it is going to be even tougher.  I know that we have at least one urban vote (my dear friend/employee- Anthony) but I would like to attract alot more. 

That is why I think my new plan is so 'dope' and 'fly'.  Its kinda hush-hush right now (I haven't even told Steve or Mr. McCain about it- shhhh) but since I trust all of you, I can tell you that part of my speech will be performed as a rap song.  Now before you get all nervous about my 'street cred', I will have you know that I once gave a speech in college that was also a rap song (it was a speech on the Bill of Rights- TOTALLY AWESOME SPEECH- btw).  The problem that I am having right now is finding the right beginning for it.  Here is what I've got so far:

I am Sarah and I am here to say
That I want to be your VP today
I ain't no fool and I ain't no dope
...

The only word that seems to fit there is 'soap' and I just don't think it is very Vice Presidential to rap about soap.  I would love some tips from any 'urban' readers about how to finish that rhyme.  THANKS! XOXOXOX

p.s. I also need a rhyme for "appropriations" and "sectarian factions" (I don't even know what those words mean :)   

Comments

[Laura Bush]

I am Sarah and I am here to say
That I want to be your VP today
I ain't no fool and I ain't no dope
But if you are a fool, I am your hope

Please do let me know if I you need help with your speech honey.
Laura

[Sid&Fancy]

"I am Sarah and I am here to say
That I want to be your VP today
I ain't no fool and I ain't no dope"

They say I'll hang myself if they give me enuff rope
But God loves me more than he does the Pope
'Cause my family is as pure as Ivory soap
So all you haters go ahead and mope.

[Sid&Fancy]

"appropriations"

even thou my my oldest had improper relations;
that don't mean I aint qualified to lead foreign nations

[Sid&Fancy]

"sectarian factions"
Only elitists know how to divide by fractions?
Don't judge me by my daughter's baby daddy's actions?
Don't you be scared of the rest of the whole world's reactions?

[Sid&Fancy]

"sectarian factions"
You need to forget that my boss don't know his number of mansions?

[Fidel Guajardo]

"I ain't no fool and I ain't no Obamo"

Just change the last letter to an "o" and people should understand who you mean.

Also, I always thought Obama reminds me of Obominable like the word Abominable from the Bible.

[Sid&Fancy]

That's a good one Fidel.
Sarah, you should work in something like "an Obama lead nation would be an abomination".

p.s. to Fidel: Have you ever thought of changing your name to something less un-American?

[Kate Dickman]

I love these comments -- they are great ideas! Can't wait to see which one you choose for tonight's speech!

I am Sarah and I am here to say
That I want to be your VP today
I ain't no fool and I ain't no dope
Forget aformal wedding, Bristol should elope!

Obama is no good
Those damn liberEls are will draw blood
I'm a God fearing conservative
Yes it's true
Let's better this country
Me and you!
Yo yo!
I'm a pretty hard workin' mother of fo'! (I mean five)

[Just Us League]

Sarah, dahling....

I think it would be a great hit if you start your speech by saluting (shows military experience), then saying, "I'm Sarah Pawlenty, and I'm reporting for duty."

[Mark Dewd]

Sarah,
Dont let any of those liberel reporters try to ruin things by asking you hard questions. All you need is God and the GOP behind you and everything will be Ok.

And dont be afraid to knock that godless Muslim black terrorist (Obamo Hussein!) off his godless pedestal. God will back you all the way, believe me!

(It kills me the way liberels try to say HUssein Barack is NOT a Muslim Terrorist. It is a PROVEN FACT that he is! How stupid are some people anyway??)

Go Sarah! Go Jesus! Go God! Go USA!

[Mark Dewd]

Just Us League wrote: I think it would be a great hit if you start your speech by saluting (shows military experience), then saying, "I'm Sarah Pawlenty, and I'm reporting for duty."

THATS A GREAT IDEA! You should do it. It would be original and memorable and it shows you are serious about the USA and God and killing people from other countries!

Go Sarah! Go Jesus! Go God! Go USA!

[Fearless Floyd]

I am Sarah and I am here to say
That I want to be your VP today
I ain't no fool and I ain't no dope
I do my own thing - that's why I eloped

I love all babies and I hate all moose
I love Johnny Mac checkin' out my caboose
I loved me a bridge but then I had to end it
Once it became clear that the Congress wouldn't send it

But I still got paid and got props for Wasilla
Vote for me - I'm not chocolate I'm vanilla!
And don't you fret 'bout sectarian factions
Just gimme my gun I'm a lady of actions!

That's right toots - I'll pop a cap in their ass!
In my high heeled shoes with lots of sass
Now I'm not worried 'bout no arbitration
Just want to rule me a God fearin' nation

So pull that lever and pull it hard
And put me in charge of the mighty Coast Guard
Or maybe that's not what the VP does
Who cares? I don't - I know none of you does!
---
You can do it Sarah! You can make us all proud of ourselves! For the first time in my life, I'm truly proud to be an American!!!

[There's a Racus in my Causcus]

Sarah,
I noticed last night that you said you wanted to secure vital energy supplies in the Caucus region. Could you expand on the exact location of this region? I am not familiar with it...maybe it is near the hunting camp you pass on your snow machines after gobbling up a mooseburger.

Are you a great VEEP choice? YOUBETCHA!
Griff

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that don't mean I aint qualified to lead foreign nations
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The only word that seems to fit there is 'soap' and I just don't think it is very Vice Presidential to rap about soap.

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